Back in June, a friend sent me an email with this piece of advice in it. I read it and thought, “This is true! We have lived all of our early lives with criticism at home and at school and so we learned to criticize our self.”
I thought it would be a fun experiment to see if there was anything to approving of yourself, and to see if it made a difference. I started to say really nice things to myself. If I had a negative thought, I stifled it. I was my own coach. If something was going wrong, I gave myself encouragement. I was on a roll!
What happened, you ask? Well at the end of June I was laid off from my job. Several days before my last day of work, I started sending out resumes. Between the last week of June and the end of July, I had sixteen interviews… not all with different companies. Some interviews were part of a series where you talk to recruiter, have first and then second, and sometimes, third interviews. By the end of July, I accepted what I think is the best job in the world for me. After working there for three months, I still think it is the best job in the world for me. And, I still practice approving talk.
What is approving talk? It is saying the same things to yourself that you would say to someone else to encourage them. I say things like:
- Well done, you! No one else could have done it like that!
- What a great idea! You should go with it.
- I know it is hard. Break it down into little chunks and you can do it.
- Wow, who saw that coming! How will you handle it? Go on, you can do it.
- You are very patient. Don’t lose it now.
And, you get the idea. The supportive self chats have made a difference to me, and to those around me. I am a much better coach to others because I am learning to be a better self coach. It is great!
Go in peace.