Approve of Yourself


Back in June, a friend sent me an email with this piece of advice in it.  I read it and thought, “This is true!  We have lived all of our early lives with criticism at home and at school and so we learned to criticize our self.”

I thought it would be a fun experiment to see if there was anything to approving of yourself, and to see if it made a difference.  I started to say really nice things to myself.  If I had a negative thought, I stifled it.  I was my own coach.  If something was going wrong, I gave myself encouragement.  I was on a roll!

What happened, you ask?  Well at the end of June I was laid off from my job.  Several days before my last day of work, I started sending out resumes.  Between the last week of June and the end of July, I had sixteen interviews… not all with different companies.  Some interviews were part of a series where you talk to recruiter, have first and then second, and sometimes, third interviews.  By the end of July, I accepted what I think is the best job in the world for me.  After working there for three months, I still think it is the best job in the world for me.  And, I still practice approving talk.

What is approving talk?  It is saying the same things to yourself that you would say to someone else to encourage them.  I say things like:

  • Well done, you!  No one else could have done it like that!
  • What a great idea!  You should go with it.
  • I know it is hard.  Break it down into little chunks and you can do it.
  • Wow, who saw that coming!  How will you handle it?  Go on, you can do it.
  • You are very patient.  Don’t lose it now. 

And, you get the idea.  The supportive self chats have made a difference to me, and to those around me.  I am a much better coach to others because I am learning to be a better self coach.  It is great!

Go in peace.



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